Yesterday and today, I am overwhelmed with pain and longing. This was so wrong. This should not have happened if the car rental agency just put me in a car that was CLEAR to be driven. Dunkin' should be alive. It's just killing me right now. I sit and I do not move a muscle. Tears, heavy pain soaked clear tears escape my eyes and I'm not even whimpering. They just collect there until everything is blurry and they fall with their own weight. I've never cried so much in all of my life as I have these past 2 months.
The only thing that pulls me back is the love I have received from friends and family and adopted families all over the globe. I had to call my brother in the middle of a crisis minutes ago... I feel like I'm spinning out of control in my mind. I do not know what to do with myself. I went to the bathroom and cried, the grieving was going to escape one way or another. I sunk onto the floor and the crying continued. I have to pull myself together. I know I can, but I was just adding photos to the FaceBook Causes page at www.facebook.com/justicefordunkin
Seeing him again, how happy we were... it brought his love right back to me, then I realize, I can't touch that scruffy neck again or feels his weight push against my body to get closer when we hug. I wont be able to see or hear him drink water again. And it should not have turned out this way if it were not for the gross negligence and abuse by the Department of Public Safety. I can't believe they are called the DPS. What a farse. I have never felt more UNSAFE in my life.