Friday, January 8, 2010

2010 still gray

Nice peaceful new year for me. Spent quietly, been with myself for weeks, reflecting. I realize what I need and want, what I hope to accomplish on earth etc. I truly want people to respect animals from the early stages of their development. This is very important to me. This is more important to me ultimately than my own personal happiness in the traditional sense.

My left hand and arm are still buzzing constantly. When I dance especially. When I punch, When I move my head pretty I am typing, when I look at the keyboard... BUZZZZZZ all over my left arm and hand and my body as well.

I cried a few hours ago. Just had this thought about my boy. Dunk's face. His presence. It was real. I had it. He was my life. He was here. He brought me unconditional love. I lived off of his love for years, all of my family and friends know what he means to me. I realize, as months pass and my longing for him remains unfettered, that the pain of a great loss never goes just learn to live with it. Kind of like Multiple Sclerosis and this buzzing which is due to the emotional stress of having to watch soulless humans kill my service animal before my eyes while I am handcuffed in the middle of the damn desert in a heat box surrounded by GLASS no less with no air to breath. Yeah, it's something like that.