Friday, November 19, 2010

Miss you

I miss you Dunkin'. I miss the unconditional love. I miss the elation at watching you understand this world full and run mostly by humans. You were one of us. What gets me is that you should be here. They took you. They extinguished your life and I had to watch it all happen.

Grad school has a way of distracting me from the details for moments at a time. Regardless, I sit in my office and cry for you, and remembering the trauma and what they did to me, to my life, my future and the present.

I watched a great show Dogs Decoded on Nova

Key take aways:
* Owning a dog extends your life
* Dog owner's chemical reaction is the same as a breast feeding mother to her newborn
* Dogs also experience the chemical connection with the owner
* Dog owners are less likely to have a heart attack

I told them on that day, minutes after you were taken. I told them "you killed me, you don't know what you've done, you killed ME!"

I've been a zombie since.

...A zombie with dry salt paths on my clothes and cheeks. I do my best to honor you and I know you want me to not cry. I am doing my best. I graduate in weeks with a GPA better than undergrad. 3.4... this was our time to move back home and take care of ourselves, by myself, relaying solely on myself. And now? Now I have to figure out the new plan and there are several. They are not as bright as they would be were you still here, lil daddy Dunkin'.