Friday, November 19, 2010

Miss you

I miss you Dunkin'. I miss the unconditional love. I miss the elation at watching you understand this world full and run mostly by humans. You were one of us. What gets me is that you should be here. They took you. They extinguished your life and I had to watch it all happen.

Grad school has a way of distracting me from the details for moments at a time. Regardless, I sit in my office and cry for you, and remembering the trauma and what they did to me, to my life, my future and the present.

I watched a great show Dogs Decoded on Nova

Key take aways:
* Owning a dog extends your life
* Dog owner's chemical reaction is the same as a breast feeding mother to her newborn
* Dogs also experience the chemical connection with the owner
* Dog owners are less likely to have a heart attack

I told them on that day, minutes after you were taken. I told them "you killed me, you don't know what you've done, you killed ME!"

I've been a zombie since.

...A zombie with dry salt paths on my clothes and cheeks. I do my best to honor you and I know you want me to not cry. I am doing my best. I graduate in weeks with a GPA better than undergrad. 3.4... this was our time to move back home and take care of ourselves, by myself, relaying solely on myself. And now? Now I have to figure out the new plan and there are several. They are not as bright as they would be were you still here, lil daddy Dunkin'.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

How Dunkin' Died

Dunkin was chased to his death by the DPS. Department of Public SAFETY.

All they gave me was his BROKEN and TORN COLLAR. Just thinking about it... it just brings it all back. He was destroyed instantly.

The article I wrote on the left hand side tells all the grim details. SCROLL DOWN to see PHOTOS of my bruising and ... our last video on Earth.

The tears, after a year... they just flow. He was precious. I honor him daily living a life that informs all of JUSTICE and TRUTH.

Thank you all. Again, please join my "causes page" at

How YOU can make a difference

Thank you all for the support. I have been struggling... as you see from my posts. I mostly suffer in silence regarding my most traumatic loss. Even the loss of certain motor skills, and being diagnosed with MS pale in comparison to losing my 8 year old unconditional love which Dunkin' granted me.


Also, WATCH our last video together. LOOK at the photos I was CLEVER enough to take with time stamps on them, as I KNEW the department of public safety would bury the issue.

READ the left hand column which explains what happened.

I have since attained a lawyer and I forsee fees.

I am a graduate student at NYU and work full time trying to make ends meet while living in NYC.

All updates will be posted on Face Book and my personal notes are here.

IT is ON

Alex Jones will put Justice For Dunkin' links on his site, viewed by MILLIONS of humans world wide.

I am grateful I am closer to Justice and to sharing my experience with self healing when negative forces strip you of your humanity. Visit, Add, Forward to friends, for Dunkin', for your human rights and your beloved service animal rights.

LIVE on the air, GLOBALLY

I am ABOUT to go LIVE on Alex Jones' LIVE radio broadcast. LISTEN NOW. I will be speaking about my encounter with a POLICE STATE which violated my civil liberties on
July 4th 2009 in the state of Arizona. After Steve Watson is done, it will be my turn. Hope you can join me.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Thoughts are faster than light

Last night, I cried hard. I sat on my bed and I tried to not let it erupt, and like the volcanoes of ages, I exploded my sorrow onto my cheeks and chin, my new blue sheets, my frown burrowing in itself. Dunkin' is alive in my mind, his face, his ki8ses, his care and presence. Even now, typing this, my eyes sting, they water, they release this longing.

Some people do not know longing. They cannot concieve what this is. I feel those humans are truly lucky. Perhaps they cannot love like most human do, but, they also will never know what this pain feels like.

Is it worth the cost?

The opportunity to have felt Dunkin's love is worth everything to me only because I know what it meant to me. If I had a choice to not understand love and hence never experience pain, I guess I would be super human, or a realized buddhist.

I think it's all a bunch of good philosphizing. My truth are my tears, my buzzing left body, my salty trails.

I have pushed on, and I have my art in Manhattan being exhibited as we speak. Yes, there is a pet in the painting. No, it is not Dunkin. Not this time. Out of 300 artists who were chose, only 7 were chosed to be exhibited in a NoHo Starbucks. Mine is one of the 7.

Starbucks on Boradway at Bond. Bond... my favorited street in Manhattan. Dunkin' and I used to walk it all the time, just to see the art store. He once shopped on his own there. Oh, my little angel, I would have brought you to the starbucks for a pic under my painting, Dunkin. I would have brought you to the reception as well. I would have... if you were here.